I was thinking the other day about the times in the HOLE when we used to have a fat guy roll call. Various guys would come out of their room patting their belly. I remember the first time I got called out. I was like, "dang it! Now everybody knows!" 
In honor of all the extra holiday weight I have put on, I have decided to come up with an all-time fat guy roll call. I know I'll probably overlook someone...if that is possible but here is my top ten fat guys of all-time. The next time you make fun of someone who is a little overweight...cough hmm hmm...cough...just remember what the world would be like without fat guys.10. King Eglon from the book of Judges. No one really knows what this dude looked like except for the fact that we know he was so fat that after being killed his fat consumed an entire sword.
9. Fred Flinstone/Jackie Gleason/Kevin James These three guys get lumped together because their characters were based off of the same premise. I would probably even go as far as to say that their characters were stolen off of Jackie Gleason in the Honeymooners.
8. John Belushi. I would have ranked the guy higher but I was a little young to really appreciate any of his work.
7. Marlon Brando. Where would we be without the Godfather. Simply my favorite character from movie history.
6. Orson Wells. First the guy created War of the Worlds and then he ate them.
5. Fat Albert. When you get to the point where they add the title "Fat" to your name, you probably should be in the top five.
4. Henry VIII Ok, so here is a pick where the world probably would have been better off. But you still have to respect a guy who decides to create his own schism...ok, actually that is a bad example too. But he was a fat guy and so he makes the list.
3. William Howard Taft. He wasn't the greatest president but he was the biggest...and he cost Teddy Roosevelt his second term in office.
2. Chris Farley. This is more an emotional pick than a logical one. His comedy has "shaped" my life tremendously.
1. Budha Only a fat guy could be this happy, or a fat guy with enlightenment.
6 comments:
John Candy doesn't make the list? "Uncle Buck" and "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" make him a great fat guy. Coming from another fat guy.
Eduardo
Eduardo --Good call on John Candy. One of my favorite lines from Uncle Buck is when UB says, "You should have seen the toast, I couldn't even get it through the door." ha.
I can't believe I forgot Candyland off this list. Thanks for the suggestion.
William "the Refrigerator" Perry? maybe he would make it into the fat guy sports edition list.
Where's Santa Claus???
Rosie O'Donnell.
Brant
famous fat guys...
Hmmm.
Homer Simpson needs to be on your list. In fact, I think if Homer and Orson Wells were to fight, Homer would beat the living doughnuts out of him.
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