In little over a week, Lindsay and I will be heading to Kenya with six high school girls and two female sponsors from Florida (a rep. from New Mission Systems and one of the rep's friends). Yep, I am going to Kenya with 9 girls and no guys.
As we pack our bags and try to prepare for the journey that lays ahead, my wife and I find ourselves flooded with so many different emotions--excitement, apprehension, boldness, the stress of going over a million details, pure joy and reluctance. Our main source of apprehension and reluctance resigns in the decision to leave behind our daughter Adeline. Even though we know that she is in good hands, we continually question whether or not this was a good decision to leave her with the grandparents at a time in her life when she is so clingy to mom and dad. We can hardly leave the room right now without her crying for us to be in her line of view.
I also am feeling some pressure to make this trip memorable for the girls that we are taking and to be a blessing to the people that we encounter. I want this trip to be memorable for both our girls and the people that we meet. I desperately want our girls to encounter God's heart for the nations. I want them to experience the love of God in a way that will truly change their lives. I also want to be a humble servant that considers all people better than myself. I want to demonstrate a servant-like love that Jesus displayed and continues to inspire me to live up to. If I could sum up my prayers, I simply want people to see Jesus in my life.
As I thought about these things this morning as I was trying to talk myself into getting out of bed, God brought me a great deal of peace. He reminded me of Jesus' mission trip to this world. As I thought about Jesus' incarnation to this world, God reminded me that he too had to part with His beloved Son. He reminded me that my "sacrifices" are small in comparison to the great sacrifices that Jesus made in leaving heaven to come to this world. As my mind usually does, I then began to think about how Jesus prepared for his trip to this world. If the Word was truly with God since the beginning, did the Son discuss the various things that he would encounter during his time on earth? Did Jesus communicate any kind of relunctance in putting on skin? Did he show any kind of apprehension in coming to this world...to die in such a shameful manner? As I asked myself all of these questions, one thought continued to comfort my soul over and over again --Jesus trusted that the Father would take care of him. Whether it was in finding him the right parents, giving him the right kind of followers to giving him the courage to climb the hill of Calvary, Jesus simply and profoundly trusted that God would take care of him.
Even though it will still be hard to say goodbye to Adeline and it will be challenging at times to lead this team, I know that God's mission is worth it. I know that God will never leave me and I know that he will never forsake me. My prayer is that I will be faithful in all that he brings my way. May God's glory be seen through my life.
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4 comments:
Wow! Bless you two for making such a sacrifice! I know that God will use you to do mighty things in Kenya, and more importantly, in the lives of those high school girls. I know that not being around your daughter for that long will be really, really, tough. Just remember that my God is the God of impossible, and when things seem that way, that is when he is all the more, God. Love you bro.
oh, and if you struggle entertaining those high school girls, give me a call and put me on speaker phone. I promise not to be funny or even try to be. :)
SoeBs--thank you for your words. I showed Lindsay your comments. You are a dear friend...and a jerk...in that order.
It is so hard to leave your kids. But I know when I've left mine with my parents I miss them way more than they miss me. Kids are amazing at adapting. Even clingy ones (logan's mine). He is actually better for my parents than he is for me. And I have a general rule that says, I always realize how much I love my kids after I've been away from them for a while. We'll keep you in our prayers! and I have to say that I have never left my kids while I was in another country, and I deeply respect the decision you are making.
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